Grandmother’s Sayings
When I think of my Grandmother Kelsey I invariably think of her philosophy of life and how this was incorporated in her many sayings. Her life had its ups and downs and it seems these little nuggets of wisdom helped her get through the hard times and in turn helped her celebrate the joys.
These sayings centered around the home and family, some are well known, some seemed to be her own. Since she grew up with her mother, Sarah Lucretia Rogers Van Slyke, whose grandmother was born in England, some of the sayings may be English in origin.
Illness and health were always on the mind of our forebears and many sayings were about this subject. I remember there was much denial as many diseases had no cure and there was always the possibility of death from what would be a relatively easy illness to cure now, such as pneumonia.
“Oh, you’ll get worse wounds than that in the army.”
This was the saying that I often heard if I skinned my knee or cut my finger. Neither my mother nor my grandmother would give us much sympathy for either wounds or sickness.
“It’s all in your head” was another sickness saying. We weren’t Christian Scientists but some of our behaviors when illness struck resembled their beliefs. If ignored, it might go away.
“You’re not sick. Go to school.”
This philosophy certainly cut down on absenteeism in our family. I don’t recall ever using a sick day all the years I worked and I’m quite sure that this is where it all started.
“I stay away from those fellers.”
Grandma had a lifelong fear of doctors. Her shyness from childhood may be partially to blame. The death of her older brother, Clifford, when he was two years old and the fact that two of her children, Cliff and Don, had life-threatening bouts of pneumonia may have scared her. We don’t know but we do know that she was a very lucky woman, living until she was almost 91 without much doctoring at all.
“The bus comes in ten minutes. You have to be on it.”
These sayings and the context in which they were said have helped to mold me over the years. For instance, I learned at six (we did not have kindergarten) that there was no second chance if I missed the bus. There was no option of a ride to school by the family car parked out in the yard. I learned that you had to get it right the first time or forget it! The fact that I have been punctual all my life and almost fear being late may have had its roots in this 8:10 am school bus routine.
“The Lord helps those who help themselves.”
We heard this very often.
“If you have a chance to earn money, take it!”
We learned that life was not always easy. Living on a family farm of sorts meant that all hands were needed at times of planning, cultivating and harvesting. We did get paid for helping and that’s why Grandma so urgently encouraged us to get out there and work. One day I just didn’t want to go out. I think the job was dropping potatoes in the dust out in rows. I didn’t go but felt guilty for days about it. Uncle Don fired me once as I did not know enough about driving a tractor to cultivate potato plants. I took down a half a row before he could stop me. But here again, though, there were really no options and we went out and did what we could to help.
“Get up and have some style about you.”
“You’re all right; the world’s all wrong.”
“You’re just as good as anyone else; maybe a little bit better”
“Be glad that you look halfway decent. Life is pretty hard on those that are homely.”
All of the above were designed to help boost our morale and our ever-waning self esteem.
Grandma had sayings to describe the various rooms in her large, old house. I know that many people do this to locate the distinct parts of their homes.
“Out in the back way” was certainly unique to our house as it was a small addition that the ever-growing Hurlburt family needed almost immediately after it was built in 1800. It was relatively unfinished but we did have a pantry and bathroom of sorts out there plus several small rooms on the second floor of this lean-to “back way.” Sometimes we even had baby chicks in the spring in one of the upstairs rooms.
The bedrooms there had their own names. The master bedroom was the “Front Chamber.” There was also the “Back Chamber,” “Aunt Cynthy’s Room” (over the kitchen), and the “Little room at the top of the stairs,” which was my room. Downstairs it was the Front Room, the Triangular Room, the Dining Room, the Kitchen (which really wasn’t a kitchen but a keeping room), the Pantry and Uncle Cliff’s Room.
“Out to Old Aunt Becky’s” — the outhouse was our bathroom for many years. If we heard a noise upstairs in the attic we always said that it was Gideon’s Ghost as this was the name of the first owner, Gideon Hurlburt.
“As high as Geehosafer’s Kite.” I have no idea where this saying ever came from but she used it when describing something tall or in the sky. This may be an Old English saying.
The practical side of Grandma Kelsey was always very evident in her everyday life and she taught us about how to live this way with her wise words.
“Make it do, wear it out, use it up, or go without.” This was the motto of many at that time. Even today many of my generation will say (or think) this before we throw something away in the trash.
“I like things that are serviceable and practical.” Grandma didn’t have any interest or time in her life for any frills or fancy things. Or she would say “I don’t have time to have things that look swanky, I just suit myself.”
“Make the best of it.” This basic all-around advice given in times of disappointment, sadness, or trouble. The equivalent of “when given lemons make lemonade.”
“It is easier to be poor in the country than in the city,” she would say, having lived in both. She meant that rural people had more space and land to raise their own product and they had less distractions or temptations to make money.
“You’ll never see it on a trotting’ horse.” This was one of her favorites. If we complained that there was something wrong with either our clothes or our body she thought that we would be moving so fast that fashion defects would go unnoticed.
“To take the cuss off.” She would make an extra good dessert if the main meal was a little skimpy.
“Everyone has at least one dirty little habit.” It is my observation that this may be true.
Grandma enjoyed cooking and baking and had some thoughts on this subject such as “everyone can cook if they have the right ingredients. It’s making something out of nothing — that’s the trick.”
“I can do a lot with a can of soup.” And could she! She always kept a can of vegetable beef soup on hand in case she ran out of everything else. She added root vegetables and celery, if she had it, and with some of her biscuit topping she had a meat and vegetable pie, delicious enough for any table.
“I like making pies better than cake as I don’t like to measure.” That’s true. Her pies were wonderful. She even cut the top off her apple pie to mash the apples and check the sweetening and put it back on again. Since she took a “pinch” of this and a “handful of that” her cakes didn’t always turn out (this included baking in a wood stove oven) but she had the three of us girls to help her with that when we were old enough.
“Would you make me a loaf cake? You do it so much better than I do.” This was probably true.
“The big bugs that live downstreet.”
My hometown, Portland, CT, had much to commend it. Its history is fascinating with the waves of immigrants coming to work in the factories, the brownstone quarries, the shipyard, the tobacco fields and the other quarries. They came from Sweden, Italy, Poland, Ireland and many other European countries to join the early settlers from the British Isles. This industry and wealth acquired from these successful business enterprise helped to build the large houses with the varied architecture that line the long Main Street and many of the side streets. Other buildings, such as my former elementary school, the churches, the high school I attended all contribute to the uniqueness of the town. The hills that rise up beyond the Connecticut River contain a variety of minerals that cannot be found anywhere else on earth. Many unusual migratory birds can be seen in the spring and fall as they follow the river, stopping to feed in the area. There are many mineralogists and ornithologists in the area. My family or at least some of the more shy, retiring members, were a bit class conscious living here. Grandma would remark that she would have liked to have lived in East Hampton where the family cottage was located. I think the fact that we were relatively isolated out there in the country, relying on the school bus as our only way home after school contributed to our feelings of not knowing our classmates very well and not really feeling a part of the school. We did, however, have our own 4-H club in which we were active for all of our teen years.
And, lastly this is Grandma’s idea of religion:
“My religion is very simple. God is bigger than all of the religions and beliefs. We worry too much about it. Just relax and love God and our fellowmen.”
For after all, “It will all come out in the wash.”
Grandpa Kelsey had his own set of favorite sayings. Many were about food, for instance.
“That’s the best pie I’ve had today!” This was his way of complimenting Grandma on her good pie — apple, cherry, blueberry, mince or once in a while, graham cracker.
“Eat for fear you might be hungry.” If you didn’t have much of an appetite that day, this was Grandpa’s advice.
“Use all the salt you want as it is good for you but stay away from pepper.” Grandpa’s over-consumption of salt may have contributed to his death.
“Tomatoes were called love apples.” They were grown in gardens for decorations but not eaten as they were considered poisonous.
“It commenced at 9 o’clock in the forenoon.” This is the way Grandpa talked using some archaic words.
“I see that you have been eating goo much whole wheat bread.” This was his comment when he noticed a pregnancy in a teasing manner.
“Poor Kitty Guidey only one father and one mother who died over in Ireland.” Grandpa’s saying. Why he said this or where he got it from we will never know. By the time he got though it I would feel so sorry for the orphaned cat.
“When cats purr they are humming the words to ‘Nearer My God to Thee.’” I am always listening to see if I can hear the melody.
And lastly, here is the motto of Grandmother Robinson. Since she died in 1936 when I was just two years old, I have no memory of her. The family holds her in very high regard as she spent her whole life thinking and doing for others.
“Always remember to put others first.”
